I read the stat logs (oof on me, throw that on the List right quick). I know how many of you there are out there. Look, here’s a dude on here just now from Raleigh, North Carolina who spent 5 mins 25 secs reading the List. Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania, represent! Woh, wait a minute. I just realized why I recognize that town. It’s where I send my check to Sallie Mae every other month or so give or take a month or two. What sort of special bureaucratic hell have you guys get set up down there? Any chance you could, I don’t know, disappear off the face of the earth? Would consider that a total solid. Thanks in advance!
Let’s see… going down the list from today’s readers here… Tallahassee! Um, none taken on that last Florida post. Thanks for stopping in! We love Florida, for real. Except for every square inch of it we’ve been through. And also the other places we hear about in the news.
What else? London, United Kingdom (Learn how to tip you cheap pricks. Sorry, cheap cunts.); Stockport, United Kingdom; Alameda, California; Santa Cruz, New Mexico (I thought that place was just a made up state for the movies and for elections to get racists fired up at the polls, no?); Redmond, Washington; Wellington, New Zealand; Mannheim, Baden-wurttemberg, Germany (Love you miserable ill-humored stone-faced bitches over there, but you’re going on the List really fucking soon jsyk); Royal Oak, Michigan (are there any jokes about Michigan? What’s the point really, right? Be like making fun of sand or, like, a piece of bread? A sandy piece of bread? Do they even have sand there? Someone should probably look into this); Village Of Nagog Woods, Massachusetts… Los…
Wait a second. Village of Nagog Woods? That’s the fakest sounding town name I’ve ever heard in my life. What sort of happy little people frolic up yonder? Have you human like dwellings? How faired this moon’s crop good neighbor?
Actually, never mind cause I just found an entry from Stockton-on-tees, United Kingdom. Is that an ancient fiefdom or a white NBA point guard themed t-shirt company? Calling bullshit on that town right now. Nice try though.
Anyway, aside from a snooze-inducing geography lesson, the point here is that we all need to come together and share the special thing we have in common: we hate each other. If there’s one thing that people from around the world can agree on it’s that everyone else sucks. But, you know, in different ways.
On a related note, a suspiciously high number of people find their way to the List by doing a Google search for prison+rape+jokes. Um…