Stealing content online makes you a brave freedom fighter

Whether it’s a mortgage on a house, a brand new car, season three of Friday Night Lights or that thirteenth beer, if I don’t have the money, I somehow pull my act together and move on empty handed. Why? Because I’m not an infantile On Demand omnivore incapable of satiating my demand for instant gratification. (Plus I need to save my money for gambling debts.)

No one cares about your half ass futuristic Robin Hood with a Mac book routine pal. We saw Fight Club too, yet somehow we managed to resist rolling that horseshit into a life of self-satisfied petty theft. You’re not some freedom fighter standing up to the corporate overlords every time you search for Family Guy episodes on bit torrent, you’re just an a-hole who’s too cheap to shell out a few bucks for the things he wants, and too greedy to not steal shit you will never, ever possibly look at twice. Homer Simpson with his hand stuck in the internet candy machine over here.

You know who else has a story about why the dirt they did wasn’t really illegal too? Every dude down at the courthouse.

Not that it’s wrong just because it’s illegal, mind you. It’s wrong because you suck.